The Big Quarantine – March 20, 2020
The Day in Putting Those Danged Dried Beans to Use: I cooked up a batch of Spanish sausage, Navy Bean and Kale soup. In a rare bit of restraint, I actually made less than 10 cups of soup. I have a tendency to start throwing things into a soup pot, delicious things, but all things that add volume. Look at that beautifully manageable amount of soup!
Because I’m living in the pandemic time zone, I spent a few minutes looking up very interesting information about navy beans. I’ll spare you the heavy lifting…Did you know there’s is such a thing as a sweet navy bean pie? This was news to me (and like most recent news, not necessarily welcome). If ever there was a time in my life when I would try a Navy Bean Pie, it’s now. Or never. I’ll decide later.
The Day in Over-Thinking (about things that that do not need over-thought): Amongst my very responsible provision stock up, I made sure I had a couple treats for my weary, put-upon psyche. I just wanted something dumb that I wouldn’t buy in regular life, like Planters Cheez Balls. I cracked them open yesterday, and they are really crack-like, addiction-wise. Eating them makes me irrationally happy. I am physically drawn toward the canister like a corporate manager is drawn toward process improvements that no one asked for. To slow things down, I left the security/freshness liner attached to the canister. That hasn’t stopped me but it looks like I’m trying. My fear of gaining 400 pounds in the next week has been the biggest key in my being able to hold off sucking down the entire can, but also the can itself really has my attention.
The Cheez in Cheez Balls, like Chee in the ToastChee crackers I also eat, signify that the product doesn’t actually contain cheese, therefore the label can’t use the word Cheese. My brain and my tastebuds think it’s cheese, though and that’s what matters. Science! The balls appear cheese-like. The balls (and I wish they’d just break down and call them ballz) are cheesey-air, the cotton candy of cheese. I can’t stop eating them. But I must stop eating them.
And while I’m ranting about words (wordz?), the canister says, “It’s back” as in IT IS BACK. What, I ask, is back? Cheez Balls? Planters? Canisters. I can’t form a sentence with ‘It Is’ and the other words on the packaging.
Oh hey, anyone else have THIS MUCH EFFING TIME on their hands?
The Day in Normal…It’s Laundry Day!! : For no real reason I’ve put off laundry for about as long as I could stand it. As a single person, I don’t do laundry often. I just don’t have to. I am fascinated when I visit my friends’ houses where children live at home and laundry activity seems to be happening All The Time. A parent is yelling for kids to get their dirty clothes to the washer or their clean clothes to the closet or drawers. The washer or dryer is running or piles of laundry are stacked waiting for the next step. In my head, families spend a lot of time discussing laundry. It’s the new eating dinner together as a way to spur conversation.
For me, I have about 30 pair of underwear (panties, as grandma knows them) and when I get down to the two or three pair that I really don’t want to wear it’s laundry time. You know the last two or three pair, the ones you avoid, well, like the plague. They are the Covid 19 of the underwear drawer. You really don’t want to be near them, but sometimes you got no choice. You wear them, you’re exposed to the frayed elastic, or maybe a weird stain. Chances are it won’t hurt you, but if you’re in a car accident wearing them your Mom will die…of embarrassment.
How’s that for a metaphor?!?!?
I had a friend who’s husband said he didn’t mind doing laundry, he just didn’t like folding it and putting it away. In other words, he didn’t like the work of laundry. He liked throwing stuff in the machine, pressing the buttons and hearing the pleasing tone of the beeps followed by the soothing sound of running water as the machine did all the work while he was watching TV. Everybody likes that part.
My Pandemic laundry is done. Folded. Hung. Good underwear on top. Granny panties on the bottom. I can’t see where I’ll have to do another load before the Big Q is over. I’m just going to wear what I have on until I can go outside again and then I’ll have a ritual burning.
The Day in my Miniature Collection – Medical Edition: Of course I only have ibuprofen and the internets are telling me to only use acetaminophen. The internets are also arguing whether there’s any scientific proof that my ibuprofen is trash. I’ve called in my medical consultants (who as long as they don’t try to bleed me, I’ll trust). Also, I usually take Jägermeister when I have a fever. The internets have not weighed in on that…yet.
- Total cases: 15,219 (Yesterday = 10,442)
- Total deaths: 201 (Yesterday = 150
- Jurisdictions reporting cases: 54 (50 states, District of Columbia, Puerto Rico, Guam, and US Virgin Islands)
* Data include both confirmed and presumptive positive cases of COVID-19 reported to CDC or tested at CDC since January 21, 2020, with the exception of testing results for persons repatriated to the United States from Wuhan, China and Japan. State and local public health departments are now testing and publicly reporting their cases. In the event of a discrepancy between CDC cases and cases reported by state and local public health officials, data reported by states should be considered the most up to date.
Nothing Ever Happens on My Street 