What I Learned This Week: #211

Monday, September 13 – Sunday, September 19, 2021

The Week in Covid Testing: The thing about getting medical procedures during Covid is you have to pass a Covid test to move on to the actual medical activity. On Monday, I dutifully went to the hospital for my free, doctor ordered, pre-“op” test. I was there the when the lab opened at 7 am. I got right in. The lady in scrubs then started to hand me the nose pick while she was telling me I had to do the test myself. I looked around to make sure I was, indeed, in a hospital. I was. I refused to do my own test, she didn’t explain anything else, and I left.

At work at asked recent Covid tested coworkers about this process, I watched a video, and called the office of the doctor who ordered the test. Turns out, I was not supposed to poke that stick into my brain like the previous tests I’d taken, I was merely meant to swab.

Oh. My bad.

I went back. Swabbed, not nearly as far back as the new tech seemed to suggest was necessary (as if I was going to make ownself uncomfortable!) and whatever I did, it was enough to get a negative rating and move on the the main stage.

The Week In The Colonoscopy Experience, by Good Sam!: The Colonoscopy part is nothing. The pre-game prep is really something. Two days before some food restrictions are put in place and that’s easy enough, but the day before is when the liquid diet kicks in. That takes some concentration.

First off, let me just mea culpa my fasting-liquid diet day but noting I woke up and ate a scrambled egg cooked in a non-stick pan with no oil. I figured if the Suprep Bowel kit couldn’t blow out a single egg, it was worthless. Plus, my procedure was scheduled for noon, a reschedule from 7:30 am, but with the same fasting time limits. I felt good about the egg at 6 am.

For the rest of the day, though, I had coffee, water, Gatorade, and some jello. I made it at work until 2 pm and then I couldn’t concentrate. At home, I opened the fridge a lot. A lot! The real, medical induced prep started at 6. I drank my 16 oz., astringent, cherry-tinged, diarrhea-inducing drink and 32 oz. of water quickly and, like I was living in a cartoon, my stomach made some funny noises and I was off to the toilet!

The next morning I took the second dose, and a repeat of activity. I felt great. Very alert. I mean, I would have killed anyone in proximity for a sandwich; but besides losing my moral compass, I was really feeling awesome. Process went off without a hitch. I got a ten-year ticket.

Worst Happy Hour ever. One Star!

The Week in Oktoberfest: Oktoberfest is back in person this year, with a few less vendors, but all the spirit, brats, beer, Dusseldorf mustard, goetta, sauerkraut, and chicken dancing that anyone could hope for. Prost!

Brat and Lederhosen!

The Week in Being Hip: I went to see Millennial, indie band Bleachers, at Ovation, the second of two new venues that opened during Covid. The outside side of the dual indoor/outdoor venue, is on top of a parking garage. It sounded great and the crowd, skewing young, was very enthusiastic.

In between the opening act, Claw, and Bleachers, one of songs that played was REM’s “End of the World as We Know It.” I knew I was in trouble as 1) I am programmed to scream “Leonard Bernstein” at the break in that song, and 2) hardly anyone else in the audience was in my age group. Sure enough, at the crucial moment, I mumbled ‘Leonard Bernstein’ and looked up to see a guy my age do the same thing, and both of us immediately looked down. We knew in an instant how old we were. Hilarious.

The Week in Using the Library: For all the exciting stuff that went on this week, I also did the most mundane, wonderful thing. I walked into the library to return a book, and then checked another one out. The library as it existed before Covid isn’t quite back, but I appreciate the simple joy of walking around until something peaked my interest.

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